Jensen Speaks

Jensen Lane had been in PWE pre shutdown for one match. She had looked forward to its reopen as she wanted to prove herself outside AWS and WWI, and this was her shot to do so. As she is seen, of course, wearing her glasses and braces, but in celebration of Sims 4: High School Stories dropping this week, she was wearing an all green plaid school uniform that she had as a kid and surprisingly, still fit into. She then begins to speak.







“As the opening to Wipeout Australia says “The time has come.” And that is has. For months, we’ve all been waiting for PWE to reopen after it’s sudden closure, and it’s here. But let me reintroduce myself.”





But she also wore her trademark headgear. While her headgear would come off at some point, she loved her braces and didn’t ever want them off. They, like her overly thick bifocals, weren’t just part of her character, they were part of who she was, along with her bubbly personality and her in ring skills. But there was much more to her than that.



“My name is Jensen Lane, I’m a wrestler, youtuber, gamer, and as you can see by my obviously adorable outfit, I’m a nerd, and a proud one. I’m dressed this way because an expansion for The Sims 4, High School Stories, comes out this week and EA asked me to help them promote it. Basically, the game lets you take a teen sim through high school, something I’ve wanted since Sims 2. But there’s something else I’ve wanted.”





Jensen Lane, gamer and nerd culture extraordinaire, was also a very proficient wrestler that could win a match in multiple ways as long as she stayed within the rules. But outside the ring, she was also a game designer, and behind her, was one she was working on, called Virtual Jen, a take on the old “Virtual Bart” games on SNES and Genesis. She was also the one programming the game as well. She even had her own virtual reality equipment, which was also behind her. There was a lot in this room, for sure.



“And that is gold, outside AWS and WWI, and this is my chance. A multi person ironperson match for the Impulse title. Now, everyone in this match minus Betsy Granger, is new to the company. Betsy had her last win in a cage match a few shows before the promotion went on hiatus. But here’s what I look forward to in this matchup.”





There were around 7,000 games, across every console made, well at least 7,000, last she counted, but also big box pc games from eras such as the Apple 2 GS and Commodore 64, alongside much gaming merch that she had collected from fans and cons she had been to, including four retropaloozas, in Arlington,TX, five PRGE’s (Portland Retro Gaming Expos) in Portland, OR, and many others. She’d even been invited to E3 six times since her channel went up in 2015.



“The match is going to require stamina over anything. Self preservation and the ability to outlast your opponents. But it’s also going to take smarts, which I have in droves. What you can expect outside me outwitting my opponents is a combination of speed and striking to get the job done. With the speed of an Xbox Series S processor and a Starlink internet connection and the striking of Bruce Lee, I expect to come out on top.”



She had alot of games, but also a lot of friends, including her girlfriend, being openly gay, in fellow wrestler, and braces and glasses wearer, Lia Rose. Jensen was also someone that was anti bullying, having been there in school and was now working with multiple companies to try and end bullying forever, whether it be cyber, like the type that ended the lives of Rorochan1994, a former Japanese streamer, who was pushed into suicide, or wrestler, Hana Kimura, who was also driven to suicide by “fans”, or physical bullying which she, Lia and their friend, Hollie Holt, had also been through in their school years.





“But I’m not all about wrestling. Outside the ring, I have a lovely girlfriend, fellow wrestler, Mandi “Lia Rose” Davis, who you’ll meet later on, I’m sure. She and my adopted daughter, who is hers biologically, Lia Rose Davis, will be in the audience, cheering me on. But as you can tell from where I’m standing, I’m a huge gamer gal. I’ll play almost anything. But enough on that.”



She had been bullied for her glasses, her braces, as this was her second run with braces, or anything the bullies could get their hands on to bully her for. But she had stood up to them and like Hollie and Lia, was a wrestler now and someone they wouldn’t want to mess with. Not only a wrestler, but one who had embraced her nerdy looks and interests and was just being herself on screen and in ring. This once shy nerdy girl in school, was now an outgoing, beautiful, still nerdy wrestler, and that was inspirational to people in her former situation everywhere.





“I’m here for two reasons. To have fun and entertain the crowd. I love them as much as I do wrestling as a whole. I want to make sure they have the best show they can and as a middle of the card match, it’s gonna be the duty of me and my opponents to make sure the show makes a clean transition to the later matches. We can do it! I just know it! But guys, the fact is, that there can only be one winner. This is a non elimination match where the most falls after a set time is the winner and champion. I really hope we can get it done!”





She was getting ready to wind this down as she had some Youtube stuff to do. But first, she had a few more points to get across before she went back to building her game that she was working on.



“So to my opponents, I wish you all good luck and I can’t wait to see what you all have! This is gonna be like a Call of Duty multiplayer battle royal mode! I love battle royal type games! I love Fortnite, not really, Fall Guys and anything chaotic, and this is gonna be just that! I look forward to all the chaos, mhm!”



She then would show her braces as her promo went on. She looked like an adorable, nerdy schoolgirl, complete with backpack, but again, this was for promotion of the new Sims 4 pack that she had a review copy of already and couldn’t wait to review it, come Wednesday. She would have the time then, to do so. But for now, she had other things outside gaming, to get done.



“I love being in front of the camera and in the ring, and I can’t wait to show these people in PWE what I can do, and in just a few short days, everyone, I will get to show all you great fans what this geek can do! I was here for a tournament, where I lost to Nathaniel Dixon. Am I hoping he came back? Yes! I’ve got a score to settle with him. But that will have to wait. But good luck and all, but for all me it’s game on, and for all of you, its game over.”



And now it was time to end this thing. As she does, she slips her bifocals up and removes her headgear, to give herself a rest from it, as it hurt to wear it for long period of time, and she usually wore it all day. But as she goes on, she smiles, showing her always happy nature.



“Remember. In the words of the original Street Fighter game, well to paraphrase the win screen. “What strength! Remember, there are many people like you all over the world.” But what will really be said cannot be taken from a game, but from my actions. And that will be “your winner and NEW champion……JENSEN LANE! It’s going to happen.”



And with that, the promo fades to black, with her going back to her PC to work on her game. She had most of the levels done and ready to go. She was really looking forward to debuting this game at some point. But right now, she wanted to focus on this and her match at hand.